An oft heard phrase amongst the grey nomads is “we don’t want jumping pillows and playgrounds.”

Most senior caravaners like to keep their costs down whenever possible but that doesn’t mean that we’re always out in the mulga. Sometimes we nomads enjoy a few days at a seaside town or a popular spot and all that it entails. A bit of shopping, dinner out or a round of golf.

However when we do choose to stay at a caravan park we expect to get a level site, good roads and clean amenities.

We also expect modern clean washing machines. Now this may sound silly but for our money we would also like to have power and water, dare I say it, near our van.

When we pay $10 per head at a showground or sports club all we expect is power, water and basic amenities nothing more, nothing less.

Yet recently we returned to a favourite caravan park and were allocated a site that was extremely difficult to reverse into, so difficult that we were grateful for the assistance of a road train driver camped nearby. I must explain here that only three wheels of the car were actually touching the ground and this was an urban caravan park not the Telegraph Track on Cape York. The sites were on a steep hill and not level but concave. When it rained that evening we got flooded not only from the hill beside us but from behind us as well. We paddled about in gumboots, inside the annexe! The power connection failed twice and had to be repaired. The sullage outlet got blocked and was dismantled, mud was pumped out and it was re concreted when we left. Whilst we were eating lunch staff sprayed the grass for weeds and asked us to move inside and to keep any dogs from walking on the grass for 24 hours. Not much fun for our friend’s poodle.

Five days after the flooding the ground was still damp, then the next low pressure system brought more rain.

Early every morning they closed the amenities for cleaning leaving campers wandering about in their dressing gowns looking confused. And there’s nothing worse than a confused camper inadequately attired.

We were going to stay a month, we had paid in advance for seven nights but left after six. We couldn’t get out quick enough.

No, we don’t want jumping pillows, we just want comfort and most of all a little common sense.