In the supermarket at Tallangatta, Vic (on the Lake Hume) the bloke in front of us pays for a block of cheese. “Goin’ fishin’ are you?” says the checkout girl. When it’s our turn we just have to ask her how she knew what he was doing and she tells us that they catch Murray Cod with cheese “Cut ‘em open and they’re full of it!” Continue reading Say Cheese!
Rolling down the highway through New South Wales we hear this delightful little snippet on the airwaves. “Well trained rainbow lorikeet found in the Dubbo area. A husky like dog with one brown eye and one blue. And a diamond ring. How could you not know you’d lost that!” Continue reading Lost and Found
I’ve just had a lady at the door trying to sell God to me. We haven’t had one of those in a long time more often than not it is an Indian student at the door trying to sell Energy, of the gas or electric kind. We produce our own solar electricity and I’m sure that with a few more lentil salads Woody could take care of our gas requirements. Anyway I bid her a good day and wished her luck in trying to find a buyer. At least she could laugh about the difficulty of her task. Which got … Continue reading Love Thy Neighbour
It’s early morning and as I walk along Burleigh Heads beach the voice behind me extols the virtues of buying quality and not being afraid of the cost. I glance up at the multitude of high rise apartments and presume that she’s talking about real estate. As she and her friend pass she mentions that the tights that she is wearing cost $120! And I notice that the quality is indeed so good and so figure hugging that they highlight all of the cellulite in her bum. Continue reading Dimples
Emu Park, is a pretty beach side town on Queensland’s Capricorn Coast. We chat to a woman who is exercising her horse on the beach. She reckons he loves the water so much that he’d swim to Great Keppel island if she let him have his way. That’d give the fishermen a surprise wouldn’t it? Continue reading A Keen Swimmer
The red soil of the outback is known as bull dust. It’s red, it’s very fine and once it gets into your car, caravan or even a suitcase it’s almost impossible to clean out. ‘Caravanner’ drives the inland road through WA in the brand new van. He complains to the missus that it’s not dust proof like the old one before realising that he left the roof hatch open causing the dust to be sucked in through the vent at the bottom of the door and out through the roof. They’re still getting the dust out a year later. Continue reading A Load of Bull Dust
Woody drives over to Dingo Beach to pick up the morning paper and is told “There’s not much news on Mondays and Tuesdays so we don’t bother to get the papers.” As you can imagine Woody doesn’t take to kindly to this and retorts with “Shame if World War Three breaks out.” And storms off. Continue reading Sorry it’s Monday
We camp in the Showgrounds just behind the little town. “Park anywhere,” says a fellow camper “the caretaker is under the shower, he’s only got one leg so he’ll be a while”. Continue reading Just a Little Handicapped
We had just set up in the caravan park at Sawtell on the NSW coast. It was a lovely sunny day, parrots were chattering in the trees and there was the sound of the surf in the distance. A newish motor home pulled in opposite us and all hell broke loose. Tirades of abuse were hurled at the gentleman driving while wife attempted to guide him into the reasonably sized camp site. Campers peered from windows and from behind annexe screens. No one was game to help and certainly not while language like that was being bandied about and so … Continue reading Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea
Overheard on Fraser Island Tourist: “How long since you’ve been to Sydney?” Guide: “5 years.” Tourist: “Gone to shit mate, gone to shit.” Continue reading The Demise of Sydney
