In for repairs between caravan trips, I’m sitting in the doctor’s waiting room quietly reading when I overhear two women behind me chatting. “I was just putting the third load into the washing machine when I decided to give up and go naked.” No, I didn’t look. Continue reading Baby Boomer Logic
Cousin H visits Mildura to find lost relatives and discovers an old bloke, a school friend of her mother’s. Giving her the once over he says, “Yep, you’ve got Mallee dust in yer girl”. Continue reading Mallee Dust
Sep 2019, Maryborough, Qld As I toddle off to the loo I notice a woman packing up her motorhome. She has two cute little bouncing dogs. Another woman walks over for a chat and sounding perplexed says “I can’t pat you darlings, I’ve got Deep Heat on my hands.” She probably can’t bend over either. Oh, the trials and tribulations of getting older. Continue reading Aching joints
Lately in our travels I’ve noticed that the word ‘Yeah’ has morphed into two words. Two words similar in sound but quite the opposite in meaning. When someone says…”Yeaah no” they mean “yes”. When they say “Yeah naaah” they’re saying “no”. Tricky eh? Continue reading Changing Vernacular
Mar 2018, Adelaide Botanic Gardens An elderly woman bursts from the toilet cubicle and says to the waiting crowd “Sorry, got my clothes caught in the door. Damned arthritis! But at least I’m out here doin’ it!” Continue reading Live Your Life As Best you Can
We’re driving down from Nanango (Bunya country) to Toowoomba on Queensland’s Darling Downs. The sun is shining but it’s only 12 degrees outside. Ew and we’re still in shorts. Woody loves listening to Sydney’s John Laws on talkback radio as we don’t get it in Melbourne. I’m so over it that I threaten that I’ll neck myself if we listen to it one more morning! …On John Laws morning show a woman is mixing her metaphors “This can of worms is going to hit the fan!” I’m laughing so much that I miss out on hearing what the can of … Continue reading Mixed metaphors and cool coffee
Did you hear the one about the bunch of regulars who meet at the same caravan park every year? When they heard that their mates, let’s call them The Smiths, had bought a big new van they had a word with the park manager. The Smiths were the last of the group to arrive and were shocked to find a tap in the middle of their favourite camp site. After much head scratching by The Smiths, Mick the somewhat laid back and cheeky manager strolled over, picked up the fake tap and strolled away amidst roars of laughter. Continue reading The Regulars
There are six of us and we have a serious amount of chatting to do. We order pizzas because it is pizza night and meet in the camp kitchen. Sadly for us it is also movie night for the kids so we have a movie soundtrack in our left ears, the Saturday night singer in our right ears and some deaf old nomad behind us has turned the TV up to 11 behind us. How can anyone carry on a conversation in competition with Summer of 69, Madascar and AFL footy at the same time? Continue reading Surround Sound
Tiny cotton bushes line the Kidman Way with healthy balls of cotton on them. We buy meat at Milnes Butchery in Hillston, NSW and the butcher is so proud of his caramelised onion sausages that he opens the bag wide for Elle to smell them. Back on the road it’s hard work being a navigator as our next camp isn’t easy to find. To make things worse there is a lot of chatter on the CB radio. There are warnings to give our mates behind of ‘roos and emus and carcasses on the road. Woody keeps asking where the turnoff … Continue reading Everybody’s talkin’ at me
We tend to listen to the radio when we’re driving, ‘though I do find the morning ‘Shock Jocks’ who try to incite fear into their listeners a tad tiresome. The ABC is always a welcome source of knowledge and “Macca on a Sunday” must be the patron saint of Grey Nomads. Sometimes we fluke a local station as pass by and get a feel for life in that area. Recently we were driving through Victoria’s Mallee region which for those who don’t know it is part of a very large grain growing area. An advertisement came on the radio and … Continue reading Mallee Radio
