July 2014 We’re in Normanton on the Gulf of Carpentaria and I hear a Grey Nomad complaining about the heat (it’s 31 degrees and feels like 41). A local curtly rebuffs her with “wait till summer when it’s 56 degrees and 80% humidity!” Advertisements Continue reading It gets warm in Normanton
Me, sprawled in camp chair with a coffee “Lovely morning, I hope it stays good until September.” Wandering camper, recently retired “I’ve got till November” Then he pauses and says. “No…I’ve got the rest of my life.” Continue reading Camp Ground Small Talk
In the supermarket at Tallangatta, Vic (on the Lake Hume) the bloke in front of us pays for a block of cheese. “Goin’ fishin’ are you?” says the checkout girl. When it’s our turn we just have to ask her how she knew what he was doing and she tells us that they catch Murray Cod with cheese “Cut ‘em open and they’re full of it!” Continue reading Say Cheese!
Rolling down the highway through New South Wales we hear this delightful little snippet on the airwaves. “Well trained rainbow lorikeet found in the Dubbo area. A husky like dog with one brown eye and one blue. And a diamond ring. How could you not know you’d lost that!” Continue reading Lost and Found
I’ve just had a lady at the door trying to sell God to me. We haven’t had one of those in a long time more often than not it is an Indian student at the door trying to sell Energy, of the gas or electric kind. We produce our own solar electricity and I’m sure that with a few more lentil salads Woody could take care of our gas requirements. Anyway I bid her a good day and wished her luck in trying to find a buyer. At least she could laugh about the difficulty of her task. Which got … Continue reading Love Thy Neighbour
It’s early morning and as I walk along Burleigh Heads beach the voice behind me extols the virtues of buying quality and not being afraid of the cost. I glance up at the multitude of high rise apartments and presume that she’s talking about real estate. As she and her friend pass she mentions that the tights that she is wearing cost $120! And I notice that the quality is indeed so good and so figure hugging that they highlight all of the cellulite in her bum. Continue reading Dimples
Emu Park, is a pretty beach side town on Queensland’s Capricorn Coast. We chat to a woman who is exercising her horse on the beach. She reckons he loves the water so much that he’d swim to Great Keppel island if she let him have his way. That’d give the fishermen a surprise wouldn’t it? Continue reading A Keen Swimmer
The red soil of the outback is known as bull dust. It’s red, it’s very fine and once it gets into your car, caravan or even a suitcase it’s almost impossible to clean out. ‘Caravanner’ drives the inland road through WA in the brand new van. He complains to the missus that it’s not dust proof like the old one before realising that he left the roof hatch open causing the dust to be sucked in through the vent at the bottom of the door and out through the roof. They’re still getting the dust out a year later. Continue reading A Load of Bull Dust
Woody drives over to Dingo Beach to pick up the morning paper and is told “There’s not much news on Mondays and Tuesdays so we don’t bother to get the papers.” As you can imagine Woody doesn’t take to kindly to this and retorts with “Shame if World War Three breaks out.” And storms off. Continue reading Sorry it’s Monday
We camp in the Showgrounds just behind the little town. “Park anywhere,” says a fellow camper “the caretaker is under the shower, he’s only got one leg so he’ll be a while”. Continue reading Just a Little Handicapped
