This morning as I’m guiding Woody and the Jeep back onto the hitch for the thousandth time and when I convey in female hand signals that he’s an umpteenth to the left out and just needs to roll gently forward an inch and move back to the right, in frustration I ask him if he follows my signals … which are:

3 fingers waving backwards (and thumb pointing to left or right as needed) = keep coming

2 fingers waving backwards = getting closer

1 finger waving backwards (like calling a kitten) = real close, go slow

He stares at me in amazement like he’s trying to figure out who I am and says “I only follow Universal Water Ski signs:

Wave upward = go faster

Wave downward = go slower

I’m wondering where the water skis are?